Resentment

It took me awhile to forgive my parents when they told me we were moving from Ohio to small-town Rutherfordton in North Carolina. My parents’ intentions were scoped around my father’s job and there was no option in this case; we had to move. 

Even though my brother and I mustered up the courage to tell our folks we were okay with it, in all honesty we were scared. What about high school, what about friends, how is this going to impact our future? Personally, I worried and stressed over making friends and fitting in, but I also considered the opportunity to create a new lifestyle within this southern living. I met new people, swam endlessly in our new pool, and looked forward to the fresh start. I even began mapping out a quest of places to visit around town. I must admit, I was excited when I drove to Forest City all by myself and finally figured out where Central was. But like anything else, the newness wore off and I finally had to accept the fact this is will be (and has been) my permanent home for the next two years.

I used to believe my life contained the best of both worlds; the ability to explore something different but still know I had friends to fall back on.  But after months of being away, I started to see my relationships drift. They too were moving on and enjoying their lives in high school, starting where they left off last year while I stood at the starting line, thrown into an atmosphere full of unknown people. I didn’t know what to do, whether I should detach myself from my new community or let go of my past. Unfortunately I have been stuck in limbo ever since this question formulated in my head. Though I attempt to retain both in all its integrity, I know one day time and willpower will have its final say. In the end, I will lose. I initially blamed these obstacles on my parents, that it was their fault forcing us to move in the middle of high school but reflecting back, but now it has turned into one of the biggest learning experiences in my life. However cliche this will end up sounding, the truth still resides in these words of trial & tribulation: Sometimes we're in the valley and other times we're on the mountaintop. It's what you do during those graceful and destructive periods that really count for something worth living for. I don't resent my parents anymore because I know there were other reasons besides the comforts of my familiarity. They too have to live.